This is my stop during the book blitz for Freak by Erin Lee. This book blitz is organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The book blitz runs from 27 June till 3 July. See the tour schedule here.
by Erin Lee
Genre: LBGT/ Contemporary
Age category: Young Adult
Release Date: 29 June, 2017
Regret Comes in Every Color of the Rainbow Based on Erin Lee’s novella, Her Name Was Sam, Freak is the story of Kelly and Morgan, the mother and sister of Sam Harris, in the aftermath of her suicide. Bullied for being brave enough to show her true colors to the world, Sam has been gone exactly one year and Kelly and Morgan are left to tackle the grief that comes with regret in her absence. But Sam’s story is far from over… Through the love of Willow, a teenager intent on standing up for her “Freak” best friend at all costs, Ryan is able to finally come out to family and friends. His transformation from ashamed to proud with Willow’s help gives new meaning to Sam’s story and how things could have been. Because love comes in all shades too.
Am I a coward? Probably so. And that’s fine. I’ve been called a hell of a lot worse. Usually, it’s just Freak. That happens the most on the days I get too colorful for the assholes at Conant High School. Generally, I try to tone it down. God forbid a guy want to express himself. In a way, I blame myself for it. I guess stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Had I just toned it down and not gone through that phase in middle school with the black nail polish and the leather spiked collar, they might not even know. I don’t speak with a lisp. I don’t walk any different than any other guy at school. And I sure as hell do my best to keep the dramatics down. Still, they know. And it’s fucked up. Because if I could be who I really am, I’d do all those things and so much more. I’d pay a million dollars for someone to truly explain what’s so bad about wanting to just be me? I just don’t get what’s so wrong with being the way that I am.
When I’m with Willow, that shit goes right out the door. She’s probably the only friend I have who knows the true me anymore. My parents swear we’ll get married some day and have two perfect blond haired, blue-eyed children – a boy and a girl. Of course, they won’t be gay. That would be too much for my mother to take. “Leave me some hope, Ryan. And take off those sneakers! No shoes in the house!” No, to Mom, perfect comes only when you fit into a pre-packaged mold. A boy should be strong and athletic. A girl should be pretty and pink, like Willow. “The perfect girl for you, Ryan. Be nice to her, Ryan. Someday, Ryan, you’ll see. I just have a feeling about her.” Gross. For starters, there is absolutely nothing about my best friend that I find attractive in any way other than platonic. Even her freckles scare me.
Besides, Willow has flaws. No one is perfect, Mom. If Willow was so perfect, she might understand why now isn’t the best time in the world to come out to my parents. It’s hard enough to get through the average school day. She’s the only one who will sit with me at lunch anymore. Most days, I feel guilty about it; no matter how much fun we have whispering at the head cheerleader who thinks she’s hotter than everyone else. If Willow was “the one” I’d also be able to tell her that her nagging’s getting old and, frankly, I’m sick of feeling alone. I know it’s ridiculous, but sometimes, I feel like if Willow really “got” me, she’d become gay too. (I know, I know better than anyone – it’s not a choice). Still, the silences between us are becoming more frequent and she doesn’t invite me over as much. No matter how hard she tries, she’s never going to get what it’s like to be the kid they call Freak. Sure, I appreciate that she stands up for me. But lately, I just wish she’d leave me alone. She’d be better off. Frankly, they would all be – if I was just gone… And all of this? It makes me a terrible guy. Because as much as I need her to just go away for both of our sakes, I can’t stand it when she’s gone. To be honest, I’m really afraid of what I might do if I was left entirely alone for too long. Sometimes, I have scary thoughts. Most of them start with Colby. Generally, they end with him too, at my funeral: The one place he wouldn’t be able to hurt me.
You can find Freak on Goodreads.
You can buy Freak here on Amazon.
Erin Lee is a freelance writer and therapist chasing a crazy dream one reality at a time. She is the author of Crazy Like Me, a novel published in 2015 by Savant Books and Publications, LLC, Wave to Papa, 2015, by Limitless Publishing, LLC and Nine Lives (2016). She’s also author of Alters, Host, and Merge of the “Lola, Party of Eight Series,” When I’m Dead, Take Me As I Am, Greener, Something Blue, Once Upon a Vow and 99 Bottles. She also penned Her Name Was Sam, an LGBTQ awareness novella. She is author of Losing Faith, and co-author of The Morning After with Black Rose Writing. These days, she spends her free time working on the sequels to this novel, Jimmie’s Ice Cream and Thing Fifteen. Lee is a co-founder of the Escape From Reality Series. She, along with authors Sara Schoen and Taylor Henderson, are working with twenty other authors to bring the hopes, dreams, fears and terrors of a tiny fictional town alive. The town and its setting is exactly the type of place a man like Jimmie might escape to as the bodies thawed. Lee holds a master’s degree in psychology and works with at-risk families and as a court appointed special advocate. She cannot write horror with the lights off. However, these days, she’s getting braver and dimming them. She’ll get there . . . You can find and contact Erin Lee here: – Website – Facebook – Twitter – Goodreads – Amazon.
There is a tour wide giveaway for the book blitz of Freak. One winner will win a signed paperback of Freak by Erin Lee. US only. For a chance to win, enter the rafflecopter below: